a not so good day and a thus ironic update

Ironic simply in the fact that, tonight, I scheduled all the pieces of the previous long post, to go up throughout the next two weeks. But, shortly, in fact, the day after the good day, everything went to shit again. Oh irony.

So it goes. Just to say, retrospectively, the good days, the clear views from the mountain top, well, they don't last forever. There's always more growing to be done, eventually. I stopped purposefully seeking it out, when I was having a good time, because I realized it would find me, and I should just savor the good times, rather than ask to get back to the hard stuff immediately.

Did I mention I used to be a bit of a spiritual hard-ass? Probably.

Anyways, I'm not (as much) anymore. And I need to get to bed and get some sleep because it's during the hard times that I most need the light of spirit and keen awareness in my life, and being exhausted doesn't help that.

To summarize this part of my life into a parable: If things are bad, just wait a moment, and they'll change. And if things are good, well, don't get too attached to that particular goodness. Enjoy it in the moment. But maybe refrain from making up stories of your future life being that goodness, forever. Life get's better if you work at it. But it never gets best. And if you cling desperately to the happy feelings you have in one particular moment, it just hurts that much more when it gets ripped away. Like getting your legs waxed.

Let it go and search for the new facet of light present in this moment. Which may be beneath a couple layers of darkens.

OK, sleep.

Good to you all.

-cnh (crazy naked hermit)

[update later, when I realized the scheduled posts weren't posting because I needed to post them before the would automatically post.... never mind. Anyways: it shifted to being good again. It's gonna keep going up and down, probably for life. I don't know there's a way to stop it. But perhaps there is a level you can step back and learn to be at peace even with the rough stuff. A way of handling it that makes it better. Like, you're always going to be handed some dog poo, from time to time, but you can remember to carry a plastic bag with you and put it in that, and then it's not nearly as bad.]